


departure

by fools_mp3



Series: we will find a way (through the dark, oh through the dark) [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Kinda, M/M, anyway this came out of it, i got inspired on my 10 hr flight back home, this canon 2 the couple sitting next 2 me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-17
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-02-03 12:59:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12748809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fools_mp3/pseuds/fools_mp3
Summary: Minhyun has always been there for Seongwoo.





	departure

**Author's Note:**

> >SLIGHT warning for light mentions of anxiety/anxiety attacks. it's minor in description, but if this is something that triggers u easily please proceed with caution or exit out! how u feel always goes forst. take care of urselves and the content u consume!! <3
> 
> thnx 2 my beta [uyu](http://archiveofourown.org/users/uyu) i love u..

When Jisung comes back from a meeting with their manager and announces that they’ll be going to America for a concert, chaos erupts in the dorms.

 

They're all gathered around their small, but cozy living room, pajamas on, and boxes and boxes of fried chicken scattered around after a long day of schedules. With the news though, the lazy atmosphere among them had perked up significantly, as they all started talking about the prospect of America.

  


Daehwi starts rambling to anyone and everyone about life back in Los Angeles, stories of delicious short ribs, great weather, and  palm trees. Guanlin excitedly agrees, pinching Jihoon’s arm next to him with a “Hyung, _hyung,_ my name in English is _Edward,_ did you know?”

 

It’s at that point that Daniel starts quoting random lines from Hollywood movies, Woojin and Jinyoung joining in when Daniel says a line from a movie they recognize. Sungwoon starts talking to Jisung and Jaehwan about how he’s _sure_ he has some distant relative in Los Angeles, and _do you think they’ll come to the concert? My mom would love to brag that I’m famous to them now._

 

Minhyun watches everyone quietly in awe, fond of everyone’s excitement and what that meant for the group. It was already a shock to them to see their success in Korea, but to be able to go to _America?_ People wanted to see them all the way _there?_

 

He was no stranger to traveling, but he had only ever traveled to Japan (excluding the 7th grade field trip he had to Jeju), so the thought of flying all the way across the world starts to excite him too, and he starts joining in on the ramblings about the impending trip.

 

It’s about mid-way through Daehwi’s story of the infamous In-n-Out burgers and the “ _No, really, hyungs, they caramelize the onions, and when you bite into it, the flavors of the onions, the melted cheese, and special sauce really just give you the happiest feeli- Guanlin, you remember the In-n-Out burgers, right? Tell them, it’s so good”_ and the “ _Yeah, Daehwi’s telling the truth! I mean, I was pretty young, but you can’t forget the taste of In-n-out and wait Daehwi you forgot to mention the animal fries! The animal fries are the most import-”_ that Minhyun realizes Seongwoo, who’s had his knees pressed his chest, and his arms wrapped into himself, has been quiet the whole time, except the occasional laughs and giggles when the Daniel-Woojin-Jinyoung trio acted out a particularly funny movie scene.

 

It wouldn’t have been so odd for Seongwoo, who’s personality was a lot more chill and relaxed off camera than it was on camera, however, the news was exciting enough to everyone that the lack of reaction from Seongwoo made Minhyun raise his eyebrows at him.

 

When Seongwoo catches his eye, and notes the worried look that Minhyun shoots him, he shakes him off with a smile in return. He knows that Minhyun worry isn’t swayed, so Seongwoo contorts his face to look happier, with a brighter smile, and light, fleeting eyes, as he joins in on the excitement—as if to convince Minhyun he’s fine. It’s enough to have Minhyun put off asking him about it for now, and Minhyun makes a mental note to talk to Seongwoo about it later.

  


But as the excitement of traveling overseas keeps them running around the dorms until the sun's almost come up, Minhyun’s too busy dragging the kids to bed with Jisung as they one by one fallen asleep in the living room. When he’s finally put everyone in their respective beds, and follows Jisung into their room to check on Seongwoo, he’s already sleeping soundly on the top bunk, curled into himself, looking smaller than he’s ever looked before.

 

* * *

 

 

Minhyun doesn’t get to talk to Seongwoo until they’re actually boarding the plane.

 

With preparations for their overseas concerts, and being rushed from different schedules —CFs, variety shows, and photoshoots— Seongwoo, for two weeks, was able to narrowly avoid any confrontations that Minhyun had prepared, busying himself with the other members.

 

Seongwoo knows Minhyun is too polite, too caring, too understanding, of the concept and notion of vulnerability, so never does he push Seongwoo away from the members to speak with him privately. It’s not until the day they’re leaving for America, he notices, as they all one-by-one hop out of the van and into Incheon airport, that Minhyun has always been there. Though Minhyun had accepted that Seongwoo wasn’t ready to confide him, he had consistently always hovered around Seongwoo. Always been near him, readily available to be a support, even with Seongwoo’s insistence to avoid any talks.

 

It’s not until he’s stumbling through the crowds of cameras and fans and media through the airport, blindly looking for his members, when he feels a hand reach to grab his. Through the blinding lights —his exhausted eyes have yet to adjust to the amount of flashes— does he realize it’s Minhyun who’s been stumbling in front of him, reaching his arm back to grab Seongwoo’s hand. Minhyun’s fingers, bigger compared to Seongwoo’s smaller, slender ones, encase his and Seongwoo feels an onslaught feeling of calmness hit him. It’s this comfort and support that Seongwoo’s grown to be so fond of in the past couple of weeks, that he tightens his grip around Minhyun’s hand until they reach past security and are in the clear of the huge lenses and lights.

  


When they’ve made it past security and into the private business lounge of the airport, the members all quickly start to disperse in excitement as they note the buffet set out in the back of the room and the fancy sofas old businessmen sit on, typing quickly into their laptops. Some members start heading towards the expensive looking espresso machines, ogling at the bright buttons and smell of caffeine, and the managers exasperatedly try to gather them back together with no success. It’s not until Jisung turns on his _leader voice_ does everyone dejectedly turn back to the managers and staff, waddling back over to the crowded corner where they had settled.

 

“Before you guys go off and do whatever,” Jisung announces, raising his eyebrows at everyone. “We’ll be giving out your guys’ plane tickets right now since you’ll need it to board later. We’re _entrusting_ you with your plane ticket. Keep it with your passport, okay? Manager Sejin said he’ll wring _my_ neck if you lose it.”

 

Manager Sejin, who sits behind Jisung, makes a noise of reaffirment as Jisung pointedly looks at Guanlin.

Guanlin pales at the passive aggressive call-out, reminded of the incident of losing his train ticket to Busan during a previous schedule. They had to leave without Guanlin, as he and the manager had to stay behind and buy new train tickets to catch the next one.

 

It was a hassle and a waste of money on Guanlin’s part, and because of that, they had never allowed him to live it down. The rest of the members giggle loudly as Daniel jokingly nudges an embarrassed Guanlin.

 

“Aw, _hyung,_ ” Guanlin whines. “I won’t lose it this time! I promise! I learned my lesson.”

 

Jisung waves it off.

 

“Mmm, we’ll see in an hour if we have to leave you here while we go to America,” Jisung says casually.

 

Guanlin squeaks at the idea of being left behind.

 

The other members coo at the noise, the younger members choosing to mock the squeak while Minhyun giggles, leaning over to pat a red-faced Guanlin on the back. Guanlin pouts, his natural aegyo coming out as they tease him.

 

“ _Hyung.”_

 

Jisung laughs, and proceeds to start calling out the members. He calls them in seat order, _Oh this is mine, Jaehwan. Then it’s middle row okay — Woojin, Jihoon, Guanlin, window and aisle, Daniel and Sungwoon, window and aisle again, Jinyoung and Daehwi, and behind them Minhyun and Seongwoo. Don’t lose these, okay? OKAY???,_ as each member one by one comes up to grab their tickets.

 

The members are already dispersing, already heading back to the array of foods as Jisung calls after them. Minhyun, Seongwoo, and Jisung stay behind —Minhyun and Seongwoo too busy giggling at Jisung’s evident stress level.

 

“I swear if Guanlin loses it again I’m swearing him off fried chicken for a month,” Jisung mutters, raking his hands through his hair. “I joined Produce to be an idol, not to acquire ten children.”

 

Minhyun laughs. “Hyung, at the _least_ Seongwoo and I aren’t children.”

 

He looks at them pointedly.

 

“I joined Produce to be an idol, not to acquire _eight_ _children and two man-babies_ ,” he corrects himself.

 

Seongwoo grimaces. “I think that backfired on us, no?”

 

Jisung shoos them.

 

“I need a nap,” Jisung sighs, adjusting himself on a couch to curl into a ball.

 

“And maybe a beer,” he adds as an afterthought.

 

Minhyun stands up, sweeping non-existent dust from his thighs as he pulls along Seongwoo with him. Seongwoo makes a noise at the sudden movement.

 

“We’ll bring you back a Hite, hyung,” Minhyun calls, pulling Seongwoo along to the buffet, as members start coming back to the couches with plates full of food and delicacies.

 

 _“Jinyoung, don’t even think about taking a french fry from my plate, I’ll_ **_know_ ** _so don’t even thi-“_

 

_“I wouldn’t take your fucking french fries, Woojin, stop being so dramati-“_

 

_“Jinyoung and Woojin, can’t you just give me a five minutes to nap? Can’t you just shhh, just for five minu-“_

 

Minhyun and Seongwoo giggle to each other as they hear Jisung pleading with the younger members as they walk away.

 

“Poor Jisung-hyung,” Seongwoo remarks, as he continues being dragged by Minhyun toward the food.

 

Minhyun isn’t holding on to his arms, but the sleeve of Seongwoo’s shirt, curled tightly around the fabric. Minhyun agrees.

 

“He’s been stressed these past couple of weeks preparing for America,” Minhyun notes. “He didn’t have to help out so much with the manager hyungs but he wanted to.”

 

They arrive at the buffet area, Minhyun handing Seongwoo a plate, and ushering him to go in front of him.

 

Seongwoo scans the trays of food, wrinkling his nose as he passes by the vegetable section. Minhyun pokes his back with his own plate.

 

“You should at least get just a little bit of vegetables,” Minhyun frowns, putting a hefty plate of green beans onto his plate. “Traveling is exhausting.”

 

Seongwoo shakes his head. “I don’t want to eat that much.”

 

He skips the savory section of food entirely, instead heading over to the delicacies to put a single mini butter croissant on his plate.

 

Minhyun winces at the new piece of information, and hurriedly packs more food onto his plate before following Seongwoo.

 

Though he sticks close to Seongwoo, he doesn’t push much against Seongwoo’s decision to only eat a small pastry — in comparison to other members shoving spoonful after spoonful of food into their mouths.

 

Seongwoo’s surprised, Minhyun’s uncanny habit of worrying for everyone usually results in some prodding on his part, but Minhyun instead doesn’t say anything, and just continues to follow him back towards the members.

 

Seongwoo abruptly stops while walking, and Minhyun makes a noise behind him as he almost pummels into Seongwoo’s back. He turns his head to look at Minhyun with his eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed.

 

Minhyun stares at him back, in confusion first, before he raises his eyebrow at Seongwoo.

 

“I’m not going to ask until you’re ready to talk about it,” Minhyun states plainly, as if it’s the simplest thing in the world.

 

“ _I-,"_ Seongwoo gets ready to explain himself. Stops. “Really?”

 

The surprise on his face must be more evident than Seongwoo thinks it is, because Minhyun’s face softens at the reaction, a tiny smile falling onto his lips.

  


“Something’s off about you these past couple of weeks,” he responds, shrugging. “I know that. And even though we’ve only known each other for a few months, and we’ve been members for shorter, I know enough about your comfort levels, Seongwoo. You can talk about it whenever you’re ready.”

 

It takes Seongwoo a few minutes to process what Minhyun says, before nodding slowly and exhaling.

 

“I - thank you?”

 

Minhyun laughs at Seongwoo’s confusion. “I care a lot more than you think, Seongwoo. You know that, right?”

 

Seongwoo nods his head quickly, an expression of reassurance on his face.

 

“God, _yeah,_ of course,” Seongwoo says. He feels a faint blush coming onto his cheeks as he knows he’s about to confess something, and he wills itself to go away. “I- I know that, Minhyun. You’ve always been there for me — ever since you picked me for Justice League and all.”

 

Minhyun giggles a little at that.

 

“I’ve never doubted how much you care about me,” Seongwoo adds quickly, shaking his head and swallowing his nervousness away after realizing how dry his throat was.

 

It’s not much, not that big of a deal, he _knows_ that — but he’s never been one to easily express his emotions — the idea of being the happy pill in the group being thrusted into his hands since Produce 101. Truthfully, cracking jokes and making others laugh with his own bright smile was a coping mechanism for all his own nervousness and anxiety towards his future, and the idea of One Seongwoo being the certified mood-brightener of any group he was in soon became his trademark. But it soon became a double ended sword when it became a personality trait he was required to show constantly. Even around his members now, though he felt a lot closer to them through the hardships they had on the show, he still felt as if he had a moral obligation to stay happy and funny — for them.

 

It’s even harder expressing his emotions to Minhyun, who was quite literally the opposite of Seongwoo, confident enough in his thoughts and emotions to acknowledge them and stand by them, no matter if he was happy or upset. It intimidated Seongwoo, to say the least.

 

Minhyun smiles at him, a genuine, happy smile. “Okay, well. As long as you know?”

 

Seongwoo swallows again, nodding before he sends Minhyun a comforting smile back. It’s small, but he wants to show as much as he can that Minhyun doesn’t need to worry about him, doesn’t _want_ Minhyun to be worrying about him when he knows Minhyun worries about the other members enough.

 

“Thank you,” is all he says in return though as they settle back down with the members. Quietly, that Seongwoo almost thinks Minhyun doesn’t hear it amongst the loud chattering of nine other boys — especially Jisung’s whining at how the younger ones consistently bully him — but then he jumps a little, feeling a warm hand resting around his waist.

 

“Hey, did you bring me a Hite?” Jisung pipes up over the chatter.

 

Minhyun’s ears tinge pink, realizing he forgot. “Oops?”

 

Jisung’s eyes narrow, and Minhyun scrambles up. “I’ll get it right now!”

 

Jisung waves it off and pulls him back down on the couch.

 

“Forget it!” he huffs. “Forget it. I knew you would forget anyway. Everyone forgets about _my_ needs.”

 

Minhyun laughs at Jisung. “Aw hyung, you’re being overdramatic. Of course we don’t _forge-_ “

  
  
  


It’s when the flight attendant reinforces that they’re taking off and that passengers should be seated with their seatbelt on, does Seongwoo say anything.

 

“I’ve never been on a plane before,” he exhales, fidgeting with his thumbs and his feet pressed tightly together.

 

The plane is still taxiing, but his heartbeat’s racing and he doesn’t know how else to calm the ache in his chest.

 

He says it quietly, out of the blue, he himself not even expecting to talk about it with anyone, and he regrets it as soon as it comes out of his mouth.

 

He almost prays that Minhyun didn’t hear anything, but then Minhyun is turning to him, a look of surprise in his face, and he’s asking Seongwoo to repeat what he just said.

 

He doesn’t.

 

“What am I even doing on this plane,” he breathes out instead. “I don’t deserve any of this. I’m not good enough for any of this.”

 

His lips are pursed tightly now, and his foot is tapping heavily against the carpeted floor, his fingers wringing against his wrist.

 

“Seongwoo?” Minhyun says quietly, and he reaches over to grab Seongwoo’s shaking hands.

 

They’re cold, unbelievably cold, and Minhyun brings Seongwoo’s hands to his lips, breathing onto them to cool them down.

 

Seongwoo flinches slightly in surprise, Minhyun’s lips are soft against his knuckles, and he shivers at the contrast of his hot breath against his freezing hand. Soon though, he’s relaxing into the confines of Minhyun’s warmth, heartbeat slowing down, bit by bit.

 

“I’ve always been scared to go on a plane,” he says quietly, avoiding any eye contact with Minhyun, even when Minhyun clearly searches for it.

 

Seongwoo thinks he can feel the croissant he ate swirling in his stomach, no matter how little he ate.

 

“And now I’m here, on a plane, going somewhere, where I don’t even know if I’m going to be wanted,” he continues.

 

Minhyun’s quiet for a moment, doesn’t say anything to Seongwoo’s vulnerable confession. Seongwoo who’s never really shown his anxiety ever, his doubts, not since he was expected to be the happy-go-lucky trainee turned successful idol.

 

Instead, Minhyun lowers Seongwoo’s hand into his lap, intertwining their fingers together and gripping it tighter.

 

“The first time I went to Japan, I threw a downright _tantrum,_ ” Minhyun says, casually like a hum.

 

Seongwoo turns to look at him, confused at why Minhyun is mentioning this. _Also,_ why Minhyun threw a tantrum.

 

“What?”

 

“I’ve been on a plane when I was younger — to Jeju, school field trip — but it was so long ago, I had completely forgotten it. So the first time we went to Japan, it felt like the first time. I was scared, and I threw a tantrum,” Minhyun chuckles a bit at the memory, dipping his head down into his chest.

 

His hair falls slightly over his eyes (a product of needing a haircut), and Seongwoo feels his heart leap out of his chest.

 

“I didn’t cry — you know how I rarely cry, but _god,_ I was an asshole. I was panicking a bit, you know, I heard about that plane crash and they got stranded and turned to cannibalism. It was all I could think of.”

 

“Cannibalism? You thought your members were going to eat you?” Seongwoo repeats, a smile slowly coming onto his face. He was nervous, scared, but he never thought as far as cannibalism.

 

“ _God_ , it was stupid, I know, and everyone could tell something was off about me.”

 

“I wouldn’t eat you,” Seongwoo insists, the opportunity to tease Minhyun something he didn’t think he could pass off.

 

Minhyun shoots Seongwoo a look, and continues when Seongwoo just giggles in return.

 

“I was snapping at everyone, being absolutely cold, and at some point, I was like you. Thinking why I should risk my life going to a place where I’m probably going to be swallowed _whole_ by people who didn’t even like me, didn’t know who I was.

 

Anyway, it was when I yelled at Aron-hyung about a candy wrapper dropping on the floor did he tell me to get my head out of my ass.”

 

Seongwoo splutters, the story taking another turn, as he imagines Aron, someone he’s never met but heard through little stories here and there, yelling at Minhyun.

 

“He said _that_?”

 

Minhyun’s eyes are twinkling, recalling the story, recalling how stupid he was, and he nods in confirmation.

 

“Yeah,” he laughs. “But the thing was, he told me to get my head out of my ass, and that he loved me.”

 

Seongwoo tilts his head in confusion.

 

“He told you to get your head out of your ass… then said he loved you,” he repeated.

 

“Somehow he knew that it was because I was antsy and anxious. So he told me to first, get my head out of my ass -- which I deserved, I was shitty -- and that he knew it was the nerve of a new country, mixed in with my fear of flying that I was acting that way. He’s always been able to read me, you know?”

 

Seongwoo _doesn’t_ , but somehow he understands. He nods.

 

“So, to you, who has _not_ been an asshole, I won’t tell you to get your head out of your ass and instead, just leave the I love you.”

 

Minhyun’s rubbing his thumb over the back of Seongwoo’s hands, soft circular motions that calm him, and Seongwoo cheeks tinge pink with Minhyun’s words.

 

“You are _incredibly_ corny.”

 

Minhyun grins anyway, and continues.

 

“I love you,we’ll get there safely, and I’m not the only one who loves you,” he states, as if it’s matter-of-fact. A mantra. Something so incredibly normal, so right. “So many people love you, people would be incredibly  _stupid_  not to see your charm and your talent. Of course people will love you there.”

 

Seongwoo sighs. “Can you promise that?”

 

Minhyun laughs.

 

“Of course I can’t,” Seongwoo frowns at Minhyun’s response, sputtering.

 

“ _But_ , even if they don’t — which is so impossible, by the way — _I_ still love you. And my love for you is more than anyone else’s combined, anyway.”

 

He’s beaming at Seongwoo, and something about his words makes Seongwoo think that something has shifted. It doesn’t feel like when Aron had said he loved Minhyun. No, this feels different, he thinks.

 

They’ve always been same-aged best friends in the group, their relationship low-key, made through late night talks in the Produce 101 dorms. It continued on to late night cereal cravings in the Wanna One dorms, when everyone else is asleep and the only sounds in the kitchen is the refrigerator humming and their hushed voices. Their simple teasing behind the scenes of photoshoots and backstage at live shows, pinching each others arms and calling one another fools.

 

Saying _I love you_ is normal for them, yet something in their relationship has shifted, and Seongwoo thinks this is the fine line between being in love, and loving someone.

 

He thinks he wants to breathe out a rushed, desperate confession, full of suppressed feelings cultivated over the last few months.

 

Instead he leans over, rests his head on Minhyun’s shoulder.

 

It’s a little awkward, Seongwoo, not that much shorter that Minhyun, but somehow it fits, comfortable. Minhyun adjusts himself, folding himself into Seongwoo.

 

“Okay, Seongwoo-ah?” he says, voice rough from telling his story, tiredness showing.

 

Seongwoo’s looking out the window. He didn’t notice that they were already in the air, flying for awhile.

 

“Thank you,” he says. “For distracting me.”

 

Minhyun breathes out a soft laugh.

 

“And I love you too,” he responds, faintly.

 

Minhyun’s grip on Seongwoo’s hand tightens.

**Author's Note:**

> i decided to split into series work instead of chapters because i want people to be able to read them as separate entities, separate journeys --like different snapshots of onghwang (but in the same kind-of-canon-not-really universe).
> 
> if u don't know what in n out animal fries r plz look it up.. omg delish  
> >also aron would. my soft old man  
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/guaniinist)


End file.
